first entry :)

hello everyone! thank you for coming to read my blog. i hope you enjoy. 

i have started over so many times it fills me with shame doing this again but i cannot give up until it is over and i am done. i will never be done and so i will never give up. it’s sad when i put a lot of thought into it but days go by so fast i won’t even have the time to.

i have had a lot of bad years and i was sure this one would be different; it wasn’t, and i know it’s not over yet + anything can happen but there’s only four  months left in the year. i try to be optimistic, i really do. 

it is difficult not to feel like you wasted yet another year of your life because not much has changed. i thought i’d be healthier, happier, wealthier and at peace but i cannot dare to say that i am. i got lonelier and more existential. 

i started a journal on the first day of the year and i could barely keep up. i try to tell myself i don’t have to do what i don’t want to do but where do i draw the line. the line between doing what your spirit tells you and having no discipline is incredibly thin and i don’t know what to do. i hope i am not making too many damaging mistakes. 

i turn 22 on the 17th of december and i hope i have the courage to celebrate myself this year because i don’t remember the last time i acknowledged my new age. i feel like i am rambling at this point but i guess this is how it’s  is supposed to be? i don’t know how articulate a blog post is meant to be but i will end it here because i got distracted

THANK YOU FOR READING. it is really brief but i hope u liked listening to my thoughts  :)